Notion

by Kings of Leon is the song that grooves me the most right now.

I got a notion to say what doesn't feel right
Got an answer in your story today
It gave me a sign that didn't feel right, no
So don't knock it, don't knock it, you've been here before
So don't knock it, don't knock it, you've been here before

I just wanted to know if I could go home
Been rambling in day after day
And everyone says I don't know
So don't knock it, don't knock it, you've been here before
So don't knock it, don't knock it, you've been here before

Got a notion to say what doesn't feel right
I just wanted to know if I could go home
So don't knock it, don't knock it, you've been here before
So don't knock it, don't knock it, you've been here before

So don't knock it, don't knock it
So don't knock it, don't knock it
So don't knock it, don't knock it, you've been here before
So don't knock it, don't knock it, you've been here before

Why?

Why arent me and my brother closer than we are? Why wont he come to visit me? I wish this were not the case. I feel so disconnected from my entire family living in California yet at the same time relieved that I do not deal first hand with the drama that goes on there. Everything is personal and none of my business. What the hell?! I think one reason that I never went back for good is because so many things changed around me that it made it unsafe for me mentally to sustain myself there. James and I need to have an adventure. Our own Joshua Tree!

Inspiration sometimes starts with these lines...

The kindest thing to do would have been to call me on the phone like a person instead of a polite email bowing out. At least I kindly wouldn't have felt like an asshole then.

311 Uplifter Review

I have decided that my skills as a self proclaimed musical prude should not only be used to demonstrate my never ending gift of gab but should also serve as a record of my keen ability to type my opinion into oblivion. So without further adieu, I present the first of hopefully many music reviews. I hope to summon my inner vulture in order to properly pick the bones clean from the decomposing wildebeest that is 311's "Uplifter."

Uplifter is 311's first studio attempt in close to 5 years. Bob Rock has been hired to produce and mix. I think Bob was a great choice and provided 311 with the most dynamic sound that any of their CD's have to offer to date. I do however disagree more with certain audio selections on this presentation than any other 311 issue in their history. The track breakdown:


Track 1. Hey you. In true 311 fashion, the lead track is against the underground norm that the band stands for in order to receive a decent amount of radio airplay ala "Amber" or "Love Song". Kind of a catchy track for someone who isnt a diehard 311 fan. Great harmonies during the chorus but in my opinion a terrible solo interlude by SA Martinez. Poor choice of vocal as well as a complete loss of the rhythm and bounce of the track. The song climaxes pretty well and almost redeems the shortcomings the earlier minutes. Great video guys! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qSezXqULS7c

Track 2. Its Alright. This really wouldnt have been my choice for the second track on this album. I actually passed by it for the first week or so that I listened to the CD. 311 likes to start a lot of really good songs with calm, flowing melodies which is great unless you come off of a bouncer like "Hey You" and want to keep it going. Nice bass solo towards the middle letting P-Nut beat that thing, melodic round following the solo and then back to the chorus. I would have liked this track to be just a little longer. Second single? Really? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lzWBuHcHVK4

Track 3. Mix It Up. Another track that I passed on for the first few days. Once you get past the miniature train wreck at the beginning the track becomes a funky stone groove. Probably the most righteous groove on the CD. Love it when the track comes to a calm during the second "I was never too good at math anyways" verse at about 1:34 into it. Listen to Tim Mahoney's fuzzy guitar riff hint a little bit of pre-millenium 311 style before it fades away. This track would be rated in the top 3 of this album. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_HPf9URyj8E

Track 4. Golden Sunlight. I feel like I may be repeating myself. Skipped over it for a while but came back and now prefer this song over many others. Such a great relaxing rhapsody. Drawn out Mahoney strums and flowing Hexum vocals break into an epic chorus filled with feelgood emotion and a raw sense of wonder. Bring it down again for another go round. The best part is yet to come for this one. Skip to 2:43 of this one for the real deal Holyfield! Leave it to Doug Martinex to rip out such a memorable climax that I will keep this one on the rewind for a while longer. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d1EJk5gavZg

Track 5. India Ink. This will have to be the most catchy tune on the entire CD. It caught my attention right away and kept on going. It makes me want to do exactly what the song asks, scrawl your name on my arm in a fit of passion. The chorus is lacking slightly but with this killer track grasping your ears in a musical stangle hold it really doesnt matter. Crack yourself a beer and turn the bass up on this one. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KK-ef542Wyg

Track 6. Daisy Cutter. 311 must on all albums write a song for the ladies. In this one Nick tries to impress a sweetie by name dropping his band. Not a very creative track, typical reggae riff mixed with off beat strums and Chad Sextons notoriously tight snare to top it off. Chorus is the best part of the song only to follow at 3:02 by a crowd pleasing breakdown in the action. I do like how 311 uses catch phrases in their songs that remind hardcore fans of lines in previous album hits. For example, "musical laughter..a more beautiful disaster." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rV7a65wVLXw

Track 7. Too Much Too Fast. Contrary to what many people say about this song I believe it to be a poor attempt at simply filling the CD with tracks. I would really suggest just skipping by it and not giving a second chance. I really dont event think I heard them play it in concert on the debut show. If anything 0:44 of the track has a semi decent interlude. Im am not happy at all with SA's vocal solos in this song. The only thing that couldnt come fast enough was the end of this song. Sorry guys! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8fkM6j5vQM

Track 8. Never Ending Summer. Way to hit the nail on the head with this one! Catchy little Jamacian chant of "3-11 3, 3-11" at the beginning to break into a crowd hoppin, funky, groovin, flowing track that will grace shows for years to come. This song incorporates all the qualities that make 311 likable. They stand for fun, unity, and good times and that is what they have to say here. I definitely want to "rock the hood" and "play it mellow" when this one comes on. Good guitar solo by Mahoney although I would prefer a more traditional sound than the wah pedal, Slash influenced ring it has to it. I do, however, walk around singing to myself, "these are THE good ol' days." Start a show with this one and the crowd will go batty! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_vR66fm19yM

Track 9. Two Drops in the Ocean. Another one that could be merely filler. This is one to listen to if you are just looking to chill and relax after a long day. Other reviews tend to appreciate this one but I know better. I can just see Bob Rock saying, "You really want to burn this one?" I have nothing more to say than that for this one. No real positives or negatives. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0uE16VglqkI

Track 10. Something Out Of Nothing. You said it! Lets play one note and rap a boring vocal track over it while trying to sound insightful. 311 tends to do this on every album that they put out. After a few great tracks they fill some space with nonsense. I find it humorous though that these are always songs that are primarily sung by Doug Martinez. 2:40 brings about a thick solo that ends abruptly with a half vibrato bend, and half open cheeked fart. Its magic that I am still writing about this one as well. Next! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PjZKEmRIpQY

Track 11. Jackpot. This track starts to turn this album around once again. The only thing I think I would make fun of right off of the tee is Hexum's vocal interludes in the first seconds especially the hilariously awkward "woo" at 0:16. This one breaks into an awesome chorus by 1:27 and a great crowd participation chant of "whoa" at 1:44. I believe this one will be kept on constant rotation at future 311 events simply because of the crown pleasing nature of it. All around good tune ala Grassroots meets Transistor. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQ0FOFOw23c

Track 12. My Heart Sings. Our boys last chance on the standard version of the album to pull it together. It was an awesome idea to end with a ballad. Maybe they played it a little safe with the typical Mahoney style reggae riff and soft Hexum vocal but what the hey! Its worked since 1990 so keep it up. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aU6Zl4f-yJ0


Track 13. (Bonus track only found on the deluxe version) I Like The Way. What dont I have to say about this song. Why in the world with all the tracks that screwed the pooch on this album did this one not make it? Im banging my head on the wall every time I think about this. I will proclaim this song one of the finest studio productions in 311 history. There is nothing I can say that I would change about this one. From the lyrics to the instrumentals, my boys perfected their style this time. I firmly believe that there is a 311 track out there for everyone and every situation. This one reminds me of a recent acquaintance and may be why I prefer it ("so many other girls just make my mind slack") Play it loud, then play it again! My hats off to you on this one! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=raTI6Gu49pE

Lights Out, Laguna Niguel.

It was a mildly breezy and calm summer night. Out of nowhere "it" sprang upon us like a three legged kitten on a wounded cricket. Yes, I am speaking of the dreaded Orange County Rolling Blackout! Ok, so it really wasn't as dramatic as I make it seem but Ive gotten this far so I may as well make it interesting for the both of us. To be quite honest it was a planned outage, we knew about it for a month, only we forgot it was happening until about 5 minutes before ground zero. Whats a guy to do but light up a candle or two, sit on the couch in silence, and revel in the splendor of this mini dark age that has been thrust upon him. His only company, a blind cat who's only thought is how to get back to the safety of his owners bed without the sound of the saltwater fish tank to guide him. Ah...the silence, which lasts only for a minute until a car alarm goes off, opens up time for events and activities only hours ago deemed not worthy to complete. Finally, the litter box can be changed, the dusty acoustic can be tuned...and played, cups and dishes transported to the kitchen, and a bed could be made. I stood on the porch for a while, staring into the stars that are usually not visible from my neighborhood, and made silent plans to myself now that the most important things I thought the world had to offer me had temporarily deceased. "I should walk the pier more late at night", "I need to write more birthday and holiday cards to family and friends", "I need to make more time for myself". All of these plans put on hold as a chill in the air brought me back inside. What do I find but my trusty old phone. At least you didnt let me down. I broke the silence with a text message, maybe to prove that all was not lost. A response! Another! Now a late night photo session with the cat. I seem a little more excited than I should over things so mundane. Once again, the planets align and the world is as it should be. Lights on!

Vamos A Llamar, Cazafantasmas!

is how you say "Who ya gonna call? Ghostbusters!"

If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, does it still make a sound?

I just got this off of Yahoo! frontpage and the answers from viewers are pretty solid.....for instance....

Well sound is: "the sensation produced by stimulation of the organs of hearing by vibrations transmitted through the air or other medium."
So technically, if the energy vibrations that would cause sound never reach the 'organs of hearing', then no- it does not make a sound.
It's kind of like the 'Schroeders Cat' experiment...you never know unless you observe it, but to observe it would change the outcome...




Depends how "clever" you want to be about it.
If you ignore for a moment all the animals that may live in said forest, and ignore the fact that trees themselves are living entities then the question is not does the tree falling make a sound but does the tree exist in the first place.
This kind of thinking though is why Einstein thought quantum physics was bunkum.

Well since "sound" was around before the evolution of our ears then yes, yes it does....However "sound" in this case could be something totally different to our sensory experience of it...so yeah its complex but id go for yes...due to the evolution of our ears to process the dangers that come with loud noises...if you wanna go all post modern then you could say that "sound" cant be observed from an extrasensory angle therefore cannot exist independent of the listener and so on...but yeah...it makes a sound..





I think "complexity" is exactly what they were going for when they created the question. It's a paradox in a way. Technically it still makes a sound but can a sound really exist if it isn't heard?. It is a rhetorical question in every sense of the word.





Depends on what you think sound is.
If sound is the air vibration, then the answer is yes.
If sound is only sound if it affects someone´s nervous system, then the answer is no.

Update since Its been a lil while...

First things first...check out the hilarious but true ad that I found on craigslist w4m section:

I SAW YOU GET HIT BY THAT TRUCK - w4m - 30 (COSTA MESA)
Reply to: pers-jdyha-1166096225@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Date: 2009-05-11, 5:48PM PDT

YOU WERE HIT IN A SPLIT SECOND. BUT FINE!!!!! I LOOKED AT YOU, U LOOKED BACK, BUT I THINK U WERE DRUNK. ARE U OK?! DINNER?!

...people make me laugh. Man, what a month May was! The last two weeks of May went like this; Flight of the Conchords concert, 29th birthday, fly to Indy, MayDay with Erica, Indy 500, Memorial day with mom and the 4 wheeler, fly back to LA, Fleetwood Mac concert with SRae, and the 311 secret show. WOW! I am beat. Not to mention that I came home to a house full of *gasp* fleas! Fucking fleas! I f-ing hate fleas! I have so far spent more than 15 hours fighting the flea infestation. I am sure that I am exaggerating but I hate them so much. Howie, however got so flea bitten that he became anemic and had to be rushed to the Banfield Pet Hospital for $587 worth of lifesaving care. This is twice this year that I have saved this little furball's life but I have to say that it is all worth it.

This year is great so far. I am having so much fun and I think Im beginning to figure it all out again!

Interesting that I didnt think of this...

I love watching old movies that I saw when I was a child and didnt understand. I learn so much about the underlying meanings and pick up on things that I would have never understood at the time. Such as.....Adelvise....

The Sound of Music used as (Adelvise) edelweiss as double metaphor:
It is first sung by lonely Captain Georg Ritter von Trapp, a widower, as he rediscovers music and a love for his children, in a rebirth similar to the flower's rebirth after the snows of winter recede.

Second, it is sung as a defiant statement of Austrian patriotism by the von Trapp family in the face of the pressure put upon Captain von Trapp to join the navy of Nazi Germany.



Ah.........Adelvise.........Flowers. It makes sense. -Smitty

Happy Mother's Day, fools!

ok, Im just pissed off with the media as of today. I think that when you are more informed that you tend to express your opinion a lot more and why not! Thats why shrinks can tell you whats up. Its because their education allows them to have an opinion that supersedes yours. Let me elaborate...
1st...There is an article of the best paying jobs in 2009. General Dentist is on that list which is cool but...the picture of the dentist has a digital camera in his left hand, a forcep in his right hand gripping a tooth in a very non-clinical fashion, and the patient is smiling like he just got a handy. Whatevs!
2nd...Daisy of Love on VH1 shows the men competing to save a Daisy mannequin from the "evil paintball sharpshooting snipers" who "never miss their targets". It makes paintballers look like f-ing stupid, savage killers that hunt fags with mannequins in the woods. Bring yourself to a regulated paintball tournament and see that this stipend is completely false.
3rd...Aw Cmon!!!! Wasnt there anyone else that could have accepted orders other than Maverick and Iceman when there was a crisis during their TopGun party? For God's sake, they were on TAD! Did they really have to prove that they all learned their lessons cause it was a movie? Those of you that have served know what I mean. For those that havent...refer to those that have!

Pacquiao Vs Hatton

This was a hard fight for me to watch in the first place. I love both fighters and just hoped that it went the distance with a close decision at the end. I did not expect Hatton to be lying senseless on the mat at 2:59 of the second round! Big ups to Manny. I also heard that Mayweather Jr just came out of retirement. Please, please, please Manny Pacquiao beat some manners into that boy when the time comes!

PS: I love boxing! I think its because I can go eat dinner, have drinks, and then scream at the top of my lungs in a bar. Maybe I just love to scream. I should watch boxing silently and them scream alone in my bedroom to see if either is more enjoyable. They just might be each others catalyst.

The weekends are getting better!

I just spent my first week at my new job and Ive got to say that Im so much happier than I have been in a while. I have no responsibility whatsoever except to assist my doctor when needed. I got off at 2pm on Friday! By 6pm I was in Anaheim watching the Ducks/Stars game. I would have just been getting out of work. HAHA, I rule! The Ducks game was awesome. Katy and I took her sister and her friend who were in town visiting from Michigan. The game went into over time and then a best of 5 shootout. My man Teemu Sellane won that shit!
Today, Sunday, I got my hair cut. I love getting my hair shampooed after a haircut. It is my favorite part. I just love getting my scalp massaged. If I could afford it, I would pay someone to do it for me every day. As I was getting my cut I noticed the barber next to us. She was wearing highwaters with cork sandals that were too small for her feet. Her long toes stuck over the edges of the shoes and her french pedicured nails were long and sharp. I just kept thinking she looked like a hawk ready to pounce on a mouse. I hope that guy gave her a good tip because I dont want to see anyone get their eyes scratched out.

Thursday

Tonight I burned some old bills, bought things online that had skulls on them, slacked at making dinner (still not done) and watched most of the Sex and the City movie. Why? Because of beer. Maybe it had something to do with my pirate booty shirt. I dunno.

Great Weekend for Paintball

So Huntington Beach had its ups and downs but overall I am pleased with the outcome. My fears about my performance dwindled quickly as I did my job and listened to my back players to make firm field decisions. I made a couple game winning decisions and my crew saw them and trusted me to be up front leading them to victory. Although we did not go to the finals on Sunday, We placed decently and for a first event with Team Revolt, I think we grew together as a team and will put the lessons we learned on the field (good and bad) to use in the future.



Also this week my roommate's sister and best friend are in town so Im playing big brother. Its always fun to show tourists around my coast and allow them to be jealous in all that I have in my backyard. I heart Southern California!

Cant get much crazier than this.

Very interesting weekend and Monday to be quite honest. I finally decided between the two job offers that I had. I started my first day today only to HATE EVERY MINUTE OF IT. I was so miserable. I finished out the day and called the job that I turned down to accept it. I hadnt actually turned the job down, I just hadnt responded yet. They were happy to have me. Same pay, less hours, but NO stress. I think I will do alright. Of course the most important paintball tournament of the year, Huntington Beach, is next weekend. The last practice before the tournament was on Sunday. I was so stressed about the job choice that my head wasnt in the game. I made stupid decisions on the field and took a lot of bad hits. Basically I looked like crap. I got my feet under me finally towards the end of the day and pulled some pretty good runs but it wasnt enough to make up for the morning. I got texts from the team captain and another player consoling me on the trouble I had but asking my not to let them down come Friday. I know that I am a great player and I just had a bad day. I would never let my team down but now another problem arises. If we as a team do well, Im the hero. If the team does poorly, I feel like secretly some blame would be put on me for the performance at the last practice. Thats a lot to deal with. Im not a stranger to intense situations and I always want the lead when the games on the line. The way that the Huntington field is setup allows my position to either make or break the entire game. Either way you cut it, all eyes will be on me come Friday.

Katy gets attacked by a shark

While exploring the undiscovered realms of the Aquarium of the Pacific, my unsuspecting roommate Katy falls prey to the most vicious predator that ever existed.

Howie Gato "el Pato"

This is how you say Howie "the Duck" in Spanish. Do not be confused with "Domo arigato el Pato" which would mean "Hello duck" in a wierd fusion of Japanese and Spanish. Also keep in mind the phrase "Howie Gato, Mr Roboto". This actually makes no sense unless you place a question mark at the end in which it would say "How is your cat, Mr Robot?" What about "Howie gato, Mr. Pato?" (How is your cat, Mr. Duck?) I would have to say that my all time favorite Spanish/English conglomeration would have to be the most infamous quote from the movie "Short Circuit" when Johnny 5 joins a street gang and proudly exclaims, "Los Locos kick your ass, Los Locos kick your face, Los Locos kick your balls into outer space!"

An Unscheduled Vacation.

What happens when you leave your job unexpectedly during an economic recession. Normally an unemployed person would hit the streets running with their resume to rejoin the rat race, coffee coursing through their veins and a wild look in their eye. Here is a breakdown of my first unemployed Monday since 1995...

8:00am- alarm goes off.

8:05am- backup alarm goes off

11:00am- finally get up

11:05am- jump on roommates bed because I am bored.

11:15am- exhausted from bed jump so I play with the cats for a while. Cats are noticeably confused as to why I am home but happy nonetheless. Howie "the duck" gets so excited that he poops.

1:30pm- breakfast at pancake house

2:30pm- job search is delayed because the Aquarium of the Pacific sounded like more fun.

6:00pm- gym, massage, beer, shower, beer, beer, taquito, beer

8:00pm- millionaire matchmaker marathon on direct tv

8:30pm- asleep on couch

Okay, so the job search was not a high priority but I certainly needed a day to myself to relax and reflect. On Tuesday I called two prospective employers, attended one interview, Wednesday attended another interview, Thursday was a working interview, and I will make my decision by tomorrow. I am so happy that my skillset and qualifications even in a global financial recession are still very important and needed. Not many people do what I do at the level at which I do it. I know that sounds cocky but I like it that way. Who else out there do you know is taking a day to decide which of the only two jobs they interviewed with will become their new employer? It feels good to be in the power position. I almost forgot, I also upgraded my Indy 500 tickets and bought some clothes. Ah, what a life. Viva la California!

Note to Future Employers...

If you tend to use four letter words when speaking to your employees, especially while you are angry, do not expect them to show up to work the following day. Appreciate your staff and take great care of them. They are the legs that you stand on and that position demands respect. I think that Flight of the Conchords said it best when....

Interesting

Its interesting, Ive noticed...maybe you have as well. In a social situation, do people talk to animals (pets and whatnot) to feel better in an awkward situation or when they have nothing to say? Is that one reason people have pets? To be able to have someone to refer to and take the pressure off of a conversation? It would be like taking a one on one convo and turning it into something else. Could that be the reason why people think that if a man or woman that they date do not like their pet then they are ineligible for a second meeting? I wonder if vets have a high risk of social anxiety disorders. I wonder if social anxiety disorder runs higher in demographics who own pets. Its a theory to be considered. For your consideration, Smitty.

New Events

Its been an interesting weekend so far for me emotionally. My good friends Mel and Laura called me tonight out of the blue and we hung out at Fred's Cantina and had some tacos. Ive been chilling indoors today since the lack of sunshine prevented me from enjoying the outdoors. My best friends today have been Corona Extra, Michelob Ultra, Pixxie Princess, and Howie Duck. Interesting how beers are given names to make them seem more grand. Terms like extra, ultra, select, and high life (the "champagne" of beers) just make it sound more glamorous to drink on your day off. Its kind of like cigarettes being called light, ultra-light, and red. I digress from my point though. Can you really be satisfied completely at any point in your life? I try to avoid controversy at all costs but it seems that no matter how good or bad a situation that I am in seems, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel or a wrench thrown into the plan. I love the light but despise the predicament that I get in to start with. I refrain to elaborate any further than this tonight. We will see what Sunday morning will bring for me. Hopefully I can resolve my personal strain and make sense of the direction that I have been pulled in recently. Furthermore, is it alright to give your personal contact info to girls you may be interested in at your place of business? I know this is off topic but it opens up a moral and emotional wormhole for me.

Paintball returns to Huntington Beach!

Im back in the game kids! After a long 5 month break from tournament paintball due to an unfortunate illness, I have once again been working with a new team for the 2009 USPL, Riot Series, and WCPPL events. Ive been practicing with them for about 2 months and will debut at the first event of the season which just happens to be the largest and most popular tournament paintball event in the world, the USPL Huntington Beach Open! Everyone come and watch me and my team, TL/Revolt as we prepare to storm the beach and take no prisoners. April 3-5...more details as the event draws near!

Howie "the Duck's" first week

Here is a copy of the email I sent to Howie's adoption agency who saved him from the sausage factory. She wanted to know how he and Princess Pixx are getting along. The best song for this letter would be Morning Jacket's "Highly Suspicious"...

Hi there! Thanks for following up with Howie. Its been a busy week for the three of us but a good one overall! Of course both of you know that my worst fear going into this was how Pixxie would react to the new kid on the block. Just as I suspected, it was a standoff for a few days. Usually ending with Pixxie hissing in disgust and hiding under the bed. My roommate actually loved it because she slept with her until Tuesday. Finally by Wednesday Id enough of the civil war so I came up with a compromise. I fixed Pixxie's favorite treat (tuna water) and gave both of them a bowl of it placed about 5 inches apart. Howie had no problem digging in but Pixxie held back for a minute. Finally the temptation won her over and it was more important to eat than be grumpy. A few nose rubs (by Howie) and butt sniffs (by Pixxie) and they were best friends. This is where the trouble starts, haha. They have taken over my closet. This seems to be Howie's fortress of
solitude. I have arranged his food, water, and bed in the corner of the closet and he does what he pleases. He even decided that he would rather have his own buddah catbox so he can #2 in peace and quiet. They trade off from time to time depending on what mood they are in. They both occupy a bed during the day and an arm of the couch after I come home. Howie was a little smelly after a few days so he got a good bath. He just let me wash him with no problems. Pixxie actually peeked into the tub the whole time and whined as if she thought she was next. She was.
Overall I think that the only one of us that had no problem acclimating was Howie himself. If he wants to get up on the couch or bed he just does it. If he wants to get off we just pat the floor in front of him so he knows how far he has to go and makes the leap. He navigates between legs of people and chairs without bumping into anything and as long as you talk to him before any sudden loud noises, he is not startled by the hair dryer, vacuum, or television. It has really been interesting to see how he operates on a day to day basis and we dont even tell people he cannot see until they play with him a while. Afterwards they cannot believe it. Attached are a few pics of his base camp in the closet and his bath time festivities. If you would like to come visit him just let me know and I would be more than happy to accommodate either of you. Until next time, take care. -Will






Bathtime!!

A Mexican Standoff in Laguna

Ok, first of all...whose bright idea was it to allow Kayne West to "sing" on American Idol tonight? Didnt we just get over the tragic news that he may be lip syncing and playing voice overs on SNL? (Turn my blog music player to Seal's "Future Love Paradise" right now to hear a real singer) Kanye is NOT a singer. He also is not a good performer. To be quite frank, he is not even a good person. I dont like anything the man stands for. I think he is pretentious and fake. Furthermore, whose bright idea was it for his mother to get a facelift before fixing the field goal between her teeth? I understand that she passed after the surgery and I respect the dead but damn guys! The best facelift in the world does not help when you can park a Cadillac in someones mouth.

Ok, back to reality...tonight in the ever changing world of Howie the blind cat and Pixxie the princess, I came up with the most ingenious idea. What if I were to open a can of tuna and give each of them a small bowl. What if then I place the bowls an inch away from each other? Brilliant! Howie the duck even finished his first and then dug into Pixxie's much to her dismay. The Kids are getting along much better. It seems like only yesterday Howie was locked in my room making number 2 on my Ikea shag rug and now they are sharing canned fish like a couple of trailer park Eskimos. He is much less work than I imagined and I am quite impressed at his adaptation to his disability. Pictures to come as fast as I can download!

Howie "the Duck"

News flash: Howie "the Duck" will make his appearance at my residence for the first time tomorrow afternoon. To refresh your mind about Howie, he is the blind cat that I saved from an animal euthanization shelter last week and will welcome into our family. We cant wait to take care of you and are anxious for your arrival!

I miss last weekend, will this week? ever? end?

Its Tuesday and Im already stressed to the max. Let me rant about it a little bit. By the way, this forum is by no means just a place for me to complain about my day but Im making an exception this time. Once before, an ex girlfriend told me that a great way to relieve stress over someone would be to write them a letter, seal it, stamp it, and then never send it. In fact, burn it. I did just that and Ill tell you what....I should have mailed it. Such a wasted effort on my part to open the wound a little more just to try to cauterize it with a cigarette lighter and a trash bin.
Ive opened up my blog in two tabs on the computer simply because Seal and Jeff Beck's cover of Hendryx's "Manic Depression" is playing and I cannot interrupt the great vibes that it is giving me right now. While you are reading this I suggest you click it and turn it up. (treble up and bass down obviously to be respectful of the way Hendryx intended it to be listened to). Such a funky groove when the guitar breaks down into some flat eight notes and ethereal squeals at about 2:40 into the track.
On a lighter note, I love the American Idol contestant tonight, Scott the blind guy. This goes right along with my brainstorming on whether to adopt my own little blind wonder, Howie the wonder cat. Yes there was a pun intended with the Stevie Wonder reference. For those of you that got it, congrats. For those that didnt, push button/recieve bacon.

Hes got to be one to remember. Im on the verge of calling the cat adoption agency and green lighting Howie pretty soon. Ive just got one hurdle to jump over and her name is Pixxie. She is sitting in my lap right now watching me type about this. Thank goodness she cannot read. (Time for Stevie Ray Vaughn's "Lenny"....please keep up with your selekta's selections) Im so worried about how they will get along. Will he be able to find the litterbox? Will I worry about them when Im gone? Am I up for the challenge? The answers are; I hope so, yes, and of course!
Ehhhh, enought for now. Finish up with Stevie and have a great night.

Blind cats

The search for my new pet continues...or has it ended. Today Katy and I had a meet and greet with Howie, a blind cat. He was the most lovable thing I have ever seen and Im pretty sure that we will pick him up and take him home. Im just so concerned about how Pixxie will react to the new member of the house. Howie was interesting because of course a blind animal has to rely more on other senses to get around. He walked in circles a lot. He was very anxious of any noises. He growled and hissed at a chair at one point. I was very attracted to his "pilot" ear. He points one of his ears forward so that he can hear better. He also tests the ground a lot with his paw before stepping. Ive never had a cat hug me before but this one gets a grip and holds on for the ride. Were making the decision this week and may just go for it.

311 am

its 3:11am. Ive just had Denny's and ive snuck into Katy's room to blog. shhhhhhhhhh

Flight reprise!

I heart this show!

3 Legged Cat continued...

ok, Ive decided against the 3 legged cat idea. I really didnt decide against it but she got adopted before I had a chance. I have put requests out for a couple more cats. One is missing an eye (one eyed willy) and another is blind. Either way, Pixxie will most likely have a lil bro or sis soon.

Friday night and the Neighbors

It was a good Friday night. My friend Pete and his wife Christine and son Dom came to visit. We watched some Indiana Jones, drank some beers, chilled in the "drama free zone" and pissed off my new neighbors with the turntables and stereo.

Life was so good here until the upstairs neighbors moved in last week. So what if I was bumpin tracks @ midnight. Its Friday night. You should be taking your girl out instead of staying home and pounding on the wall to get me to stop playing. Can you hear me typing through the ceiling? I thought so.
On a completely random note, I want to adopt a 3 legged cat. I just feel the need to rescue her. Kali and I had a great idea. If we both get two 3 legged cats, we could make at least 3 regular legged cats. It would be like Voltron! And you wouldnt have to feed them as much. Right? AND ILL FORM THE HEAD!

Cherokee Massages

I have an affinity for massage therapy. I believe that it cures all that ails. I go quite regularly (bimonthly) and find that it detoxes me like nothing else. Im not talking bout that crappy asian, rice smelling, happy ending crap. Im talkin bout some deep tissue, pressure point , aromatherapy, uncomfortable so that it hurts massages. The kind that only my very tiny cherokee healer gives. For a measly $40 for an hour, this woman channels my chakra while putting the hurt on all the lumps in my back. I highly recommend muscle therapy from a licensed healer. She knew that I had back problems by feeling the arch of my foot and asked if my boss was left handed after working the knots in my shoulders. (he is a lefty btw) Thank you so much Naeneve and I will see you again shortly after I pick myself up out of the jello mold that you pressed me into!

Grocery Observations

I have this great thought process going on tonight in the shower. Maybe it was the hot water or the sound of the cat whining outside the bathroom door because I didnt leave it cracked for her to get in. Either way, I was thinking about items I purchased tonight for dinner and whatnot. The grocery checkout must think that Im a lunatic. I wonder how many people have the same shopping habits as me. There ought to be a shopping etiquette or at least a protocol. Maybe Im the only one that notices this but I tend to look at the items purchased by the shoppers in front and behind me. The couple in front of me bought 10 cans of kidney beans, oreos, and ice cream. The old lady behind me bought laxative and 3 bottles of white zinfandel. Truly interesting would my protocol be for public shopping adventures. The purchase of contradicting items during a single purchase must be regulated. You must also be aware of how you present yourself to the checkout personnel. Case in point, the quite large woman in line yesterday wearing a shirt much smaller than what fit her with a strange food stain on the chest should not be buying hot sauce with the value pack toilet paper. The quiet, fidgety girl last week probably didnt need the cucumber with the 9V battery pack. (or did she?) To elaborate, the bearded guy wearing the yamaka shouldnt be arguing over a 50 cent difference in his purchase. Talk about profiling people! I have some strange purchase equations but I even know better than to go through the cute, short haired checkers line and buy a 12 pack of magnums. Its kind of like an American Idol episode. You know, when Simon says "it was just the wrong song for you". Speaking of AI, we need to discuss tonight's episode. WTF is up with Norman Gentile.

I hope he makes it to the top twelve. If America votes him through, I think the delicate bubble surrounding this franchise will explode and take everything down with it. By the way, tonight I purchased sugar free pudding and a pound of sugar. Deal with it.

V8 and head on collisions.

I heart V8 juice. My boss gets these little 5 oz sizes in the fridge at work for all patients to drink before or after their appointments. I am addicted to them and have at least 4 a day. Maybe Ill put a lil jal sauce in it and have a virgin mary.
Speaking of my boss, he almost died this weekend. While flying his plane he almost collided head on with a 737. My job is recession proof but if the boss dies what am I supposed to do? I dont know how long Dr Smitty would go unnoticed.

Dinner

For the record, tonight my dinner consisted of: one Chinese pork bun and a bag of Albertson's chocolate chip cookies. Point of interest, if you purchase a frozen pizza please read the directions and leave it frozen until ready to cook. This will prevent it sliding off of the cardboard tray provided by Freshetta and belly flopping onto the floor rendering it useless.
Pixxie's dinner was Friskies, floor pizza, and whatever she was licking off of the dishwasher. Most likely dishwasher pizza.

Shes so hot!

Shes so hot! I want to tell her how hot she is but she'll think Im sexist. Shes so hot shes making me sexist. Bitch!

You've got to love Flight of the Conchords on HBO! This week Bret and Jemaine fall for the same girl who happens to have an epileptic dog. They throw an awareness concert for canine epilepsy and the stage lighting gives all the dogs seizures. You cant make this stuff up. I cant wait to see them live in May.
Its been a good year for shows and sports for me so far. Since January Ive been to 2 Ducks games, the Chargers/Colts playoff game, club level at the Arlovski/Emelianenko fight, club level at the Darchinyan/Arce fight, and DJ Bad Boy Bill in Anaheim. Events coming up are the Indianapolis 500 w/ my dad, FOTC @ Rimac, Fleetwood Mac @ Staples w/ SRae, Pacquiao/Hatton @ MGM Grand, and oh did I mention SEASON TICKETS TO THE CHARGERS 2009 HOME GAMES?!. I made a promise to myself this new year to make this year the most fun filled, exciting time of my life. I needed to stop stressing and start living more.



Look how cute my baby is being right now. I swear she could never be more than 10 feet away from me and not get lonely.

First post, first blog, lots of firsts

Due to a recent inspiration, I have decided to put myself out there for the world to see. Hi! Im Will but everyone calls me Smitty. Its kind of interesting how I got here. When I say interesting I really mean only interesting to myself. I always say that in my 29 years on this earth, I have seen and done more (the wrong way) than most people their entire lives. I left my home in Indianapolis, IN after I graduated high school to seek my fortune in the Marine Corps. I say seek my fortune but honestly I just needed to get away, make something of myself, and do it on my own accord. There is nothing I haven't done or seen. Nothing really surprises me anymore although everything still amazes me. After the military I kind of stopped documenting my life. Im not quite sure how it happened, I stopped taking pictures, writing, etc and didnt really seem to care. About two years ago it just hit me that I had no record of the last few years to remember them by. I didnt want all of my stories to become big fish so I bought myself a camera and started making up for lost time. You could say that I am a picture fanatic. Id like to call it....well....Im a fanatic. I found that it was easy to keep in touch with friends and family (mainly my brother) through myspace but Im just not satisfied with the occasional blurb or photo comment. I have a lot to say at all times and I will be heard! I come up with the most random thoughts and ideas all the time and I always kick myself for not recording them for later. Enough about me for now, meet the loves of my life.........

The most adorable furry creature ever created, my beloved Pixxie kitten. "Stix" as we like to call her. Also sweetheart, angel, baby, honey, and cat legs. At this moment in fact she is sitting on my arms/lap while I type this paragraph purring like a finely tuned motor. She is a spoiled brat but well deserved. She belonged to a girlfriend of an old roommate of ours who left her after the breakup. He was going to take her to the pound when he moved but we couldn't let that happen. I really think that she adopted me and not the other way around. I really tried to change her name because Pixxie is not conducive of two grown men but she just wouldnt respond to "Killer". We just spell it with 2 XX's so it sounds more manly.

Joseph Eric. Id have to say hes my proudest mistake. Much to my surprise almost 6 years ago this perfect gentleman made his way into the world. Its interesting how you react the moment you realize that there are bigger responsibilities in your life besides yourself. What can I say, the kids a lady killer. Hes got to be, he looks just like me!